Chemo - Round 2

After a quiet Christmas at home, we are back at Medical City for the second round of chemo. Her counts were pretty low yesterday when we arrived, but not low enough to put off this cycle of chemo which is good news. She had a blood transfusion right before day #1 of chemo yesterday and then she will have four more days of chemo which means we will most likely be here through New Years Day.

It was a tough three weeks at home. On one hand I was happy that she could be home (and stay home) to recover but she spent the majority of the time sleeping on the couch which is so very out of character for her. She didn't want to leave the house, she didn't want to see any friends, and she was not feeling well enough to work on her school work. She did watch ALL of the Christmas movies so at least there is that! We were able to meet with her teachers before the winter break and they will start coming to the house once school starts back in January. It was very important to Madeline to stay in all of her classes, so that is what we are going to try to do. Her teachers were all on board so I am hoping she will feel well enough to keep up. She has already lost so much, I want her to be able to reclaim her life when she beats this again and have a reason to fight through all of this one more time.

Emotionally this is a tough one. She knows exactly what she has lost and the list is endless. She also knows the timeline from the first time about how long it takes to feel better, to regrow your hair, the long physical recovery from surgery, and ALL the other things. She just wants to be normal and cancer makes that just about impossible. Normal is so important when you are 15...it just breaks my heart.

The last time we went through this it was easy to share all of the ups and downs with everyone, and this time because she is 15 and I need to respect her privacy it is much harder. So many friends have reached out with prayers for our sweet girl. If you would, pray that she can find some sort of peace with all of this, and that she can find the emotional strength to get through it. I know she has the motivation to live and to fight but the day-to-day things are tough. There is way too much time to think about the current situation and wish you were just a normal 15 year old going to school and being with your friends.

Thank you for all of the messages, Christmas treats, gifts, cards and support. I know everyone wants to help and support our family and we are very grateful. I think Madeline is very overwhelmed by all of the attention. If she hasn't returned your daughter's text messages please know that she is doing the best she can and that she just misses her normal life. We all are.